The Great Mysteries

The beauty of an apocalypse

2011-09-03T17:44:00.000-04:00

Seedling

Little seedling grow.
Delineate your quality upon the softened ground
You have been captive for many months now
crystallized in the hoarfrost of winter's breath
an ice maiden waiting for some lover's warm kiss.

Will you ache to melt so?
Is buried deep the place of comfort?
The hard rebuttal of your next step
suggesting eternal tranquility?

Doors open to let in breezes
blown from past construct,and futures compelling need.
Metamorphose into wishful promise.

Now committed to light and sky you tendril out...
Loosening reserve
Abundant

Christianity for Grapplers: what are you wrestling with??

2011-08-06T17:09:00.033-04:00

This is a sermon I heard from the pulpit of Rev. Joyce Parry Moore, of St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Oakland, California. It was after a reading about Jacob wrestling with the angel. It was just so perfect that I had to reproduce it here...with the permission of Rev. Parry Moore, of course. Read and enjoy...and let me know what you think!

Oh Lord,

Weigh my heart, summon me by night, *
melt me down; . . .find no impurity in me. Amen.

I was sitting in a sunny Oakland café one morning last week with my family, thinking about the story of Jacob for today’s sermon, when I saw a sign. The sign read: yoga for grapplers. Yoga for what?! Grapplers? What on earth was that? Intrigued, I looked up the location, “Monkey Yoga”, on the internet – and found some interesting ideas. A place where many styles of yoga were practiced together – balancing movement and strength, flexibility and even aggression. Grappling, as I learned, does not always involve hooks or bungee cords, but rather “refers to techniques, maneuvers, and counters applied to an opponent in order to gain a physical advantage”. This yoga can be tricky, something like Jacob. Developing such flexibility can prepare you for wrestling – grappling -- with an opponent, a dilemma, or yourself.

Flexibility is certainly a quality displayed by Jacob. Whether cheating his brother, Esau, out of his birthright and blessing of inheritance, or haggling with Leban over marriages with two sisters, only one of whom Jacob loves and neither of whom had a voice in the negotiations, a major theme in the story of Jacob “the Trickster” is deception and surprise. However, when we meet Jacob on this night, he has run out of tricks. As he reaches the river Jabbok – a play on words on Jacob’s name, and also on the word wrestle – Jacob is terrified of facing his comeuppance. He will soon encounter the fury of his brother, after being chased home by the fury of his father inlaw.

Here Jacob experiences what St. John of the Cross, St. Therese of Liseaux, Mother Teresa of Calcutta might call his “Dark night of the Soul”. Jacob can no longer run from his doubts, his fears, and so he wrestles – grapples – with them through the night. Scripture forms these fears into a man, or God, or an Angel, somewhere in between. Jacob tenaciously strives with this person, with the story of his life, his mistakes, his challenges. He is a survivor: as the younger son, the one who is perhaps smaller, smarter, Jacob has used his wits to succeed, often without considering the welfare of others. We do not necessarily want to emulate Jacob, but we relate to him in his imperfection, and his will to struggle. And his struggle makes him strong. At the end of this story, Jacob may have a limp, he may not father any more children, but like many mythical heroes, his halting gait is proof of his maturity. He has changed into something more.

Since today is Family Sunday, I would like to share another story for our younger family members. This story was told to me by Rev. Wilfred Vergara, the Asian Missioner of the Episcopal Church. (I invite our younger listeners today to join me in the front to so they can see and hear the story)

Once a little boy was playing outdoors and found a fascinating caterpillar. He carefully picked it up and took it home to show his mother. He asked his mother if he could keep it, and she said he could if he would take good care of it.

The little boy got a large jar from his mother and put plants to eat, and a stick to climb on, in the jar. Every day he watched the caterpillar and brought it new plants to eat.

One day the caterpillar climbed up the stick and started acting strangely. The boy worriedly called his mother who came and understood that the caterpillar was creating a cocoon. The mother explained to the boy how the caterpillar was going to go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly.

The little boy was thrilled to hear about the changes his caterpillar would go through. He watched every day, waiting for the butterfly to emerge. One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out.

At first the boy was excited, but soon he became concerned. The butterfly was struggling so hard to get out! It looked like it couldn’t break free! It looked desperate! It looked like it was making no progress!

The boy was so concerned he decided to help. He ran to get scissors, and then walked back (because he had learned not to run with scissors…). He snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!

As the butterfly came out the boy was surprised. It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, enlarge and expand to support the swollen body. He knew that in time the body would shrink and the butterfly’s wings would expand.

But neither happened!

The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

It never was able to fly…

As the boy tried to figure out what had gone wrong his mother took him to talk to a scientist from a local college. He learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly.

As you go through school, and life, keep in mind that struggling is an important part of growing. In fact, it is the struggle that causes you to fly.
flu

Returning to the story of Jacob, I wonder whether, in playing the Trickster throughout his life, Jacob had not developed sufficient strength he needed for all that would happen in the next chapter.

To grow up fully, even at this stage in his life, Jacob needed to wrestle, to entwine himself with God, until he received the blessing that actually belonged to him. Not a stolen blessing, but rather his true identity as one who strove with God and with people. This identity gives the new Jacob, now called Israel, enough strength to become the father of a nation.

Wrestling, as an Olympic sport and as a way with words, was also central to the Greco Roman culture from which Jesus followers, including the Apostle Paul, emerged. In his letter to the Romans, Paul also wrestles with his true identity: as a Jew himself, an Israelite, one of the chosen of God, or as a Jesus follower, one who tries to convince his people of this new salvation story. Paul may have grappled with this for his entire life, and in so doing, wrote the foundation of our Christian theology.

The writer of the Gospel of Matthew builds on this salvation history, and tells us about the struggle that the first disciples experience when Jesus challenges them. In today’s story, we find them after a long day of travel and ministry, when the disciples wish to return to some comfort, to send away the throngs of followers. Matthew shows us how, in ordering the disciples outside of their comfort zone, Jesus challenges them to increase their faith, their strength, their possibility.

So today I must ask us: are we willing to wrestle? To go beyond comfort, in our homes, our relationships, or finances, our politics, vocations, even church, in order to grow? As people of privilege, we live in a world designed for our comfort and convenience. What are the ways in which we trick our way through life, avoiding pain, grief or conflict, and in the process may be running away from our true selves or from God with us? What name does God want to give to us?

While I was in seminary, not very long ago, I admit to developing my fantasy of life as the priest of a country church, something like the Vicar of Dibley. I imagined pedaling my bicycle around some quaint village, wearing Wellingtons and delivering plum jam, delivering heartwarming sermons amidst farm animals and tea parties. Thankfully, God saw me for who I really am, and caused me to wrestle with a more expansive, less comfortable, vocation last summer. Now, every day, I minister outside of my comfort zone – between languages, cultures, on the very edges of our city, in a very urban environment. Each day I must face feeling foolish, uncertain, being the only woman in a very male world, wrestling with social and economic injustices that I do not have the power to change, but only the Love to witness. My office is small, my hands covered with oil, and we are constantly understaffed. Each day is exhausting, and each day brings a unique and rich Blessing; a feast of fish and rice and faith beyond what I could image.

And I invite you to the struggle. Jesus challenges us to contend with conflict, to stretch beyond our expectations, to face our fears and our pain, and ultimately to find a balance that will bring us a new strength of vision. I invite you to Christianity for Grapplers. To that stretching of your wings that will allow you to fly.

Some bright morning when this life is o'er
I'll fly away
To that home on God's celestial shore
I'll fly away.

I'll fly away, oh Glory
I'll fly away in the morning
When I die Hallelujah, by and by
I'll fly away.

When the shadows of this life have gone
I'll fly away
Like a bird from these prison walls I’ll fly
I'll fly away.

Chorus:
I'll fly away, oh Glory
I'll fly away in the morning
When I die Hallelujah, by and by
I'll fly away.

Oh, how glad and happy when we meet
I’ll fly away
No more cold iron shackles on my feet
I’ll fly away.
I'll fly away, oh Glory
I'll fly away in the morning
When I die Hallelujah, by and by
I'll fly away.

http://www.stpaulsoakland.org/

Traditions, customs, and rituals

2011-04-22T11:10:00.005-04:00

Traditions, customs, and rituals have brought people into community since the caveman days. It creates a sense of belonging in which emotional and historic truths can be appreciated and shared. Funerals, weddings, and rights of passage are all examples of ritualized emotional expression, often combined with the larger community's involvement in things like legal issues. Rituals also can be symbolic of the history of the community.

Religious rituals can be symbolic of the history of how the community sees its relationship to God or illustrative, in part, of how they see God and the world. The Easter egg, for instance, is a symbol taken from the egg eaten at Passover; a symbol of creation, new birth, new hope and spring as part of a larger story of salvation. Rituals are also a way of involving the human form with the God. According to Karen Armstrong who wrote the wonderful book, "The History of God", people personalizing God through ritual is a way of "expressing their affinity with the unseen and the world around them". Religious rituals are called the cultus of the religion, not to be confused with cults where things are hidden and kept secret.

According to my minister, the pageantry at church can also be thought of as a set design with costumes and prompts and a director, that elicit a show. My minister says that while people think that what goes on in the front of the church is the show, the show is actually what goes on inside of you as individuals. What priests do elicits the show inside of you. The show is your relationship with God. Some churches elicit the show with rousing gospel hymns, some with great ritual, some with silence. We each respond to different ways of creating that show within ourselves.

There are many ways of experiencing God. Actually "The mystery" of God actually does not mean a mystery to be solved. In this context it means experiencing God. You can have this experience in many ways, intellectually, emotionally, physically, with burning bushes, and in other ways harder to define.

Experiencing God outside of church is wonderful, but can be limiting. People often see God in beauty and nature but rarely find God in pain or in the cities where God also dwells. It is also easy to make yourself the center of the universe where your own morals take precedence and you, yourself, become the great arbiter of right and wrong. It is certainly easier to rationalize your own behavior when not held up to the light of a community or some greater standard. Do you hear things you don't want to hear when looking at the ocean or a sunset?

It is also difficult to understand the nuances of moral behavior when there is no feedback or discussion. Things can become black or white when the various shades of gray result in a more sophisticated, complex and mature outcome. It is also easy to forget about self sacrifice and the great promise of being known and loved which makes us all more secure and more able to give.

The thoughtful man

2011-04-17T08:50:00.000-04:00

We need men; the way they think and their driving forces. But for so long, many men have been reactive rather than thoughtful. This thoughtless reactive behavior takes their wonderful masculine energy and twists it into its worst form. We need men who are conscious in using that masculine energy appropriately, with thoughtfulness and grace.

This beautiful video seeks to heal the division between men and women. I honor these men who took this first step in reformation.

May holy week peace be upon both Palestinians and Israelis

2011-04-15T13:08:00.003-04:00

From Rabbis for Human Rights

Passover/Shabbat HaGadol Thoughts
Rabbi Arik Ascherman

God, on this Shabbat HaGadol and Passover we pray for the faith necessary to be Your agents in bringing closer the day when Elljah the Prophet will turn the hearts of parents towards their children and the hearts of children towards their parents (Malakhi 3:24) - When Israelis will be reconciled with Palestinians; nation with nation; ethnic group with ethnic group; Israelis among themselves. May we have the stamina to continue working for the day when social and economic gaps will be reduced if not entirely reconciled. Although we do not know when that day will come, we thank You for the glimpses you have given us of what is possible..

On Saturday night a Ta'ayush activist called me right after Shabbat ended. In a choked up voice he told me about the day's events I had not witnessed because of the fact that I am Shabbat observant. Thanks to the work of our OT legal staff the valley of T'wamin was filled with Palestinian shepherds and their flocks for the first time in over ten years. The IDF kept at bay the frustrated Israelis so used to having the army due their bidding and chasing Palestinians of their own land. I was able to check off one of the longer standing items in my open notebook. It must have been 2001 or 2002 when Yousef Mor first told me that settlers and the army were preventing them from using the valley, and showed me the caves where animals had been stabbed and sacks of grain ripped open.

This week police arrived to evict families from Amidar housing in Ramla, but thought the better of it when they saw the home was filled with activists. In other locations eviction orders have been rescinded or frozen.

In Beit Shean several families report that Amidar officials are practically banging down their doors to talk to them. In at least one case, six years worth of dangerous water damage are finally being repaired.

In the unrecognized village of El-Arakib pressure in Israel and abroad led to the cessation of the JNF's work and the dismantling of the bivouac for bulldozers. (The lean tos are still being demolished and another bivouac has been set up not so far away.)

After some four years of efforts, the army finally ended the takeover of the Hushiya family land next to Susya. Most of the land was returned several years ago, but the land on which Moshe Deutsch had managed to plant a vineyard took much more time.

None of these victories are the cataclysmic act of salvation recounted in the exodus story. (And it is not enough to remove drops of wine from our seder cups when recounting the plagues, or to recite the midrash from Shir HaShirim Rabah containing God's rebuke to the angels, "My children are drowning and you sing praises." We truly do not want to see those with whom we are in conflict suffer anything close to the suffering of the Egyptians, not among our fellow Israelis and not among those beyond our borders.)

None of these successes make it any easier to stomach the pictures which came out of Awarta this week after the army trashed a number of homes. (We all hope that the perpetrators of the terrible murders of the Fogel family in their beds will be found, but even legitimate investigations must have red lines.) Nor do our successes staunch the fear as civilians on both sides are again becoming targets in the south.

However, these acheivements do reinforce a central theme of Passover. The God whom Rabbi Michael Lerner says is the God of endless possibilities ordains that slaves do not have to accept that they will always be slaves. Neither do we need to accept that we will always be enslaved to our current reality. Sometimes, perhaps after years and years of waiting, there comes a magic moment of change, of tikun.

The haggadah emphasizes that God intervenes directly to free us from Egypt, not by means of angels or seraphs or messengers or human agents or history. Even as we pray for God's direct deliverance, we know that in the meantime we are the messengers and the human agents through whom God acts.

As we take on this responsibility, we must remember what I was told yesterday when I spoke on a panel about our obligation to carry out our work with love for our fellow Israelis and faith in their goodness. In the haggadah we read, "The wicked son says, What is this service to YOU. TO YOU and not to himself. By excluding himself from the collective, he denies the essence." We must do our utmost not to separate ourselves from the community. Because we are not wicked and we know it, we are ironically especially susceptible to falling into that very trap.

And finally, let us remember what it is all about. As Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch prophetically wrote in his Torah commentary written even before the First Zionist Congress:

Exodus 22: 20-23 |You shall not wrong a stranger or oppress him/her, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt. You shall not ill-teat any widow or orphan/ If you do mistreat them, I will heed their outcry as soon as they cry out to Me, and My anger will blaze forth and I will put you to the sword, and your own wives will become widows and your children orphans.” "Do not oppress the stranger…"

"The verse emphasizes the central principle, oft-repeated in the Torah in many places: It is neither race, nor descent, nor birth nor country nor property, or anything else external or due to chance, or anything other than the simple and puree inner essential essence of a human being, which gives him human and civil rights. They are dependent only on the spiritual and moral value of one's humanity.

And the special explanation, "For you were strangers in the land of Egypt" comes to prevent this principle from being compromised in any way… your whole misfortune in Egypt was that you were “foreigners”, “aliens”, there . As such, according to the views of other nations, you had no right to be there, had no claim to rights of settlement, home, or land. They could do with you whatever they wished. As aliens you were without any rights in Egypt. This was the root out of your slavery and the wretchedness that was imposed upon you. Therefore beware, so runs the warning, from making rights in your own State conditional on anything other than on that basic humanity which dwells in every human being by virtue of being human. With any suppression of these human rights the gate is opened to the brazen mistreatment of other human beings. This is the root of the Egyptian horror."

Shabbat Shalom and Khag Sameakh,

Arik

Adam and Eve. A literal interpretation is soooooo limiting.

2011-04-04T12:14:00.002-04:00

One of the great prehistory stories of the bible talks about the life and times of Adam and Eve, the original humans on this earth. It is a story born of many similar stories floating around the middle east about the same time the old testament was first written. Though the names have been changed there is an almost identical story in the Koran. The first people are created, they live, are subjected to temptation and are eventually kicked out of what the bible calls Eden, by a disappointed God.

In thinking about the many novels/stories I have read over the years it strikes me that it is usually only in children's literature that metaphors come to life. In children's literature, monsters take on the role of fears, fairies become wishes and dreams, heroes become our own potential.Adult novels seek more realistic depictions of life with characters that are less symbolic than representational.

There is some hope, however, as more and more colleges are offering courses in storytelling. One friend told me his chagrin at learning that a person who majored in storytelling had been chosen to give his colleges' farewell address. He said that what he ended up with was the best commencement speech he had ever heard. Storytelling is a real art. The best storytelling doesn't make just one point, it makes many. The stories are rich and complex and contain truths that speak to us all. The very best stories keep us enthralled, and involve our emotions and well as our mind.

According to biblical scholar Frank Wade, a myth is a story about something that never happened but is true, none-the-less. A myth can speak to the important things that lie at the heart of a religion. It can also speak to the important things that lie at the heart of life. According to the Education for Ministry course given by the Theological Seminary of the University of the South, "myths are the deepest expressions of truth that a culture or a people can speak".

So, let us take a look at the creation myth and examine some of the many truths contained therein that delve deeper than the simple surface story of a man and a woman and their God.

The name Adam is not specifically a man's name. In the ancient Aramaic the word comes from "adamah" which means something closer to "earth". So in the beginning there was only one being, made out of dust, ("and to dust we shall return"). The story of the creation of Adam is the story of the creation of human.

In the same light, the name Eve was not a woman's name but rather a word that meant "regeneration". The story of Eve could then be seen as the story of the creation of families and the regeneration that happens within the context of family life. It could also be seen as a blessing on human sexuality, seen as a gift of creation.

What does it mean to say that we were made in God's image? The first human was probably a man/woman; male and female together. "In the image of God he created them male and female he created them" (God created a single entity called a "them together"). Remember that the name Adam is not specifically a male name. It would be if Adam had been named Adamish. But no, Adam was simply Adam, a boy/girl combo. Weren't the first creatures on earth single cells? If God's image is a man/woman combo kind of thing then it also begs the question of why we keep referring to God as a Father. Maybe Father/Mother would be more symbolically correct.

But Adam is lonely. So what does God do? God splits Adam into separate male and female entities; an Adam and an Eve. Contrary to popular belief, the earliest bible did not say that Eve was taken from Adam's rib but rather it used a word that has no translation. The closest phrase one can come up with to describe that word is "side of beef". A side of beef is actually one half of a beef. Therefore Eve was made of a whole half of Adam.

How often have you heard a man say, "my better half", when referring to his wife? We feel complete in relationship in a way we do not when we are alone. God made us to be together and thus we become Adam and Eve, separate, equal in God's eyes, and made for each other.

What else might it mean to say that we were made in God's image? Should we act like God? God makes it very clear that we are not him. In fact, later in the story God gets very upset when we try to be. God makes it clear, after all, that we are from the earth. But God has given man dominion over Eden where God also walks. And so we could see ourselves are being given the responsibility to act as God might and take care of God's creation. There is no blood shed in Eden. The humans eat only vegetables and fruit. Even the animals do not kill each other.

Let's talk about that tree. A fairly recent scientific study showed that men can get stupid when in the presence of an attractive woman. They make poorer life choices and poorer business decisions. (Gasp) Cave woman Ugg knew this, so I'm not sure why a study had to be conducted about it. Could the story about the apple from the Tree of Knowledge be partly about this? Could it be, in part, an explanation of how stupid a man can get when a pretty, naked women is nearby?

How about that snake? You know what a snake looks like, don't you, and how Eve was tempted by it?
Could this part of the creation story also be about the almost universal human behavior of making bad decisions based on our more animal instincts?

After Adam and Eve ate the apple they felt the need to cloth themselves. Animals don't cloth themselves. They don't think of themselves as naked. Our more modern understanding of some animals shows that some animals can feel shame. But if they feel shame it is an emotion that people seem to have taught them. They do not know that they are naked. They do all sorts of things that people would not do and right in front of everyone else.

In this way, the eating of the apple took humanity one step closer to humanity. We became self aware. We could look at ourselves and each other with a suddenly disserting eye. We suddenly had a knowledge of good and evil, perhaps not in absolute terms, but rather, that we could make judgments. We could look at ourselves and each other the way God looks at us, in the third person. Robert Burns once said, "Oh, that God a gift would give us to see ourselves as other's see us". Well, God did give us that gift as bad as we are at receiving it. That gift was in the form of a little red apple.

The reason why such knowledge could be conceived of as a potentially bad thing is that such judgments are man made and therefore often flawed...or not. We have no real way of knowing. Customs and prohibitions for one group of people can run counter to God's admonition to love one another. They can destroy peace rather than create it. They can run counter to other sets of customs and morays which, on their own, seem perfectly O.K. in cultural isolation. As wonderful as it is to be human, we do create a lot of chaos for ourselves.

What else might that apple represent? The story could also represent our first separation from God, as an illustration of great intellectual strivings, our curiosity and the need to fulfill our own creative force. We are no longer satisfied with God and what God provides. We want more. God is first introduced to us through the creation story. In it God creates everything. God is the only creator. Now we, through our feelings that God isn't enough, threaten to become creators too. And, creators we have become, in music, art, science, trying to fill the gap left when God was left behind.

Probably not last and certainly not least, God calls to Adam and Eve in the garden when they had clothed and hidden themselves. "Where are you?", God asks. But only Adam and Eve can answer that question for themselves. We cannot answer that question for him or for them. Indeed, this part of the story is about God calling to each of us, both individually and as a people. Where are we in relationship with God? Where are you? Where am I? Where do we stand?

Take me, instead!

2011-03-25T11:11:00.000-04:00

The Friday morning Gospel Reflection from the Daily Devotions reads:

Jesus, you are the good shepherd,
you are willing to die for the sheep.
You are the good shepherd:
as the Father knows you and you know the Father,
and your sheep know you;
you are willing to die for us.
The Father loves you because you are willing to give your life;
no one takes your life from you;
you give it up of your own free will;
you are the good shepherd.
Jesus is the good shepherd who understands our frailty,
and knows each one of us by name.

Some theologians think that Jesus didn't really exist. They think that the story of Jesus's brief two year tenure of preaching and teaching is a wonderful story teller's symbolic representation of the life that we, ourselves, are supposed to live. Some believe he really did exist and the stories in the bible are actual accounts of one man's journey in God, or even God made manifest.

I have always been a little confused by Jesus. Unlike many Christians, I usually talk about God or the holy spirit, instead. In particular, his death confuses me. Is it suicide; God killing itself? Why couldn't Jesus twiddle his thumbs and stand on his head and have that redeem our sins, instead? How does death redeem our sins, anyway? Etc. Etc.

The one thing I can do is relate to the passage above. Maybe it is because I grew up in the country and know people who had sheep. Sheep are very skittish and shy. They also actually get to know the voice of one or two people and respond positively to them and will follow them around. I also know that sheep are valuable commodities and can imagine shepherds going to great lengths to protect their flock.

If you can't relate to sheep then ask yourself what parent wouldn't be willing to give up their life for their child, if given the opportunity. I would make that trade in an instant. Put me under that truck. Give me that cancer. Holy spirit protect my children. Lift up the wings of the plane so that they can be carried safely across the country. Keep them afloat. See to it that no one hurts them. Provide them with enough food. Keep their hearts from being broken. Encase them in your love. Protect them from harm.

So, just like God, the Father, is like a parent to us, Jesus wasn't just being a good shepherd, he was being a good parent as well. Whether in truth or in metaphor the message remains the same. Why our redemption had to happen the way it did is still beyond me, but the message is clear that he really did love us with a deep and profound love. "Take me", he said. "Take me, instead."

Where is the love?

2011-03-21T12:52:00.000-04:00

Epistle Reflection:

Let us love one another,
because love is from God.
We love because God loved us first,
and everyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.
If we do not love the people we have seen,
it cannot be that we love God, whom we have not seen.
God is love;
those who dwell in love are dwelling in God,
and God in them.

I went to a party the other day and separately met two people who attend All Saint's Church, the Episcopal church that I am thinking of joining in Chevy Chase, Maryland. Both of them immediately made the point that while their congregation decided not to leave the Episcopal church as others had done, they were a "conservative" congregation. In both cases, they told me that All Saints did not believe in the marriage of homosexuals and did not believe in allowing Bishops to be gay. They said they hoped to influence church leadership in that direction on a regional and national level.

I wondered why they told me this. Was it a warning? Do they want me to self identify and decide to join or not depending on whether I agree with this one position? Do they want to keep people out who disagree? Was this the way they wanted to be known as a congregation? Was this one issue how they saw the mission of their church? Do they want to be know as the church who wants to exclude? Was this love?

I wonder at how they perceive themselves. I have never met a church group before that describes themselves in the negative. Describing themselves in the positive might create statements surrounding what they are for instead of against. They might say they are for strong marriages and illustrate ways that their church community is helping couples stay together. Are there marriage prayer groups; marriage support groups; marriage sermons?

How do they address the fact that so many middle aged people just want to shack up? What about the issue of sex before marriage or even the hint of marriage. Is marriage just for procreation? It used to be that almost everyone embraced the concept of marriage and strove to find a wife or husband. Why has marriage become such a shockingly dirty word, especially among middle aged men? What is their church doing about it? What can society and more specifically their church do to create marriage as a holy and wonderful institution?

Is the church even explaining to their congregation what the marriage vows mean? Do people know what promises they are making? The purpose of marriage is mutual joy. How is that being explained and supported? Is marriage just for procreation? If not, then how can the congregation support marriages where procreation is impossible like those later in life, or between people who cannot conceive?

Perhaps All Saints is doing all of these things. Perhaps not. What confuses me is an institution initially identifying themselves in terms of the negative. They speak about what they are against instead of what they are for. They speak not of who they are, but rather who they are not.

I don't believe that this is the way to love ones self. I don't believe that this is the way to love each other. I don't believe that this is the way to love God. Read again, the Epistle Reflection at the top and ask yourselves, is this love?

Dopamine or God...St. Teresa of Avila elaborates.

2011-03-13T11:41:00.000-04:00

Note: Prayer and meditation experience - While engaged in Christian meditation I have started to have moments lasting about one second, of mental and physical intensity. I am not sure if it is just the result of catching myself falling asleep, or if something is happening spiritually that might be a precursor to some greater connection. Anyone have this experience?

Post:

We all know about people who hear voices telling them to hurt themselves or other people. It seems to be the stuff both movies and life are unfortunately filled with. We observe street people talking to no one that we can see. People commit crimes because they are told to do it by voices purporting to be the Devil or God.

My beautiful med school daughter informs me that heightened religious experience is often one of the first signs of psychosis.She says its really a dopamine shift. There is too little dopamine in certain parts of the brain and that causes negative symptoms like withdrawal, lack of interest in activities, etc.There can also be too much dopamine in other parts of the brain and that causes the more obvious symptoms like delusions and hallucinations. Why these hallucinations are so often of a religious nature is left unknown.

One wonders how these experiences differ from the real voice of God that can come in our dreams, our minds and sometimes actually audibly. How can we tell if we need a psychiatrist or a priest?

St. Teresa of Avila takes some time to make the distinction between fake religious experiences brought on by mental illness and the real thing. She was very concerned that people understand when they are being blessed with communion or being tricked by the devil, the intellect, or if it is a delusion of the mentally sick.

According to St. Teresa, the affects of God, rather than mental illness are certainty, peace and interior delight.

The words are manifested in works. As an example, if the person hears a voice saying "be not troubled", the person is instantly feeling calm and not troubled.
The real religious experience leaves the person both in peace and joy.
The words do not fade from memory for a very long time, sometimes remaining forever.

She also explains the difference between true revelation and that which is manufactured by the intellect.

A genuine spiritual voice is so clear that you remember every word including the tone and every syllable.
The transmission often comes unexpectedly even in the middle of a conversation.
In a false spiritual voice ones imagination composes bit by bit what the soul wants to hear. In a real one, one hears truth.
In an authentic spiritual voice, the mind grasps truth far more profoundly and with much greater immediacy than the intellect could ever present on its own.
The truth conveyed may use words but at the same time, transcends all words.

Can I feel my soul?

2011-03-09T13:40:00.000-05:00

We Christians like to talk a lot about souls. I am not quite sure why we seem so sure that we have them, but we seem to like the idea that they are there. We talk about the soul being what is left to hopefully go to heaven when we die. But we have no clear understanding of what it is composed of, where it inhabits us and what we should do with it.

The Old Testament doesn't really say much about it. God created each one of us with a "life force" not a soul, according to the original Aramaic that the Old Testament was written in. What is left out in our modern translations is that God also imbued animals with the same "life force", so it probably came closer to meaning that God gave us life; or made us alive.Of course, some animal aficionados like the idea of animals having a soul too. But, most likely, the birth story of our universe was more related to a life force that made us different from rocks, for instance, or chairs and such. The complication is, of course, that we know that plants are alive but no life force was given to them, I don't think. Correct me if I am wrong.

The concept of soul seems to have originated in the New Testament, around the time the Greeks were influencing how people looked at the world. Aristotle and Plato both had concepts of a person or thing that seemed to set the concept apart from the thing . One of them thought the concept was in the thing, the other thought that it was entirely apart from the thing. In either case, "chair" was different from an actual chair. "Rock" was different from an actual rock. Essence of chair. Essence of rock.

It isn't a far stretch to take this one step further and think of essence of person as distinct, though contained in, the actual person.Or, something residing in us apart from our physical selves. Essence of us.

So what is soul? Is soul a little piece of me, the essence of me? Is soul a little piece of God, essence of God manifest in me? If so, that might help explain why we are told that we were created in God's image. Maybe that image is "soul" rather than the physical appearance that some people think was meant when the bible says we were created in God's image.

As I continue my prayer and mediation life I struggle with the term soul. Since I am reading St. Teresa of Avila's book The Interior Castle I am incited to find my soul and connect it to God. However, I am left wondering where it is. Is the connection I feel with God on occasion, made with my soul? How come I can't feel my soul or locate it in my body. What exactly does it do, this soul of mine? Will prayer made it bigger and better or is it simply a channel? Can I feel my soul?

I am who?

2011-03-02T12:13:00.000-05:00

Do you ever get so involved with doing something for someone or even worrying about them, that you forget yourself? You are gone. The only thing that exists is the other person; their problems, their needs, their happiness. You loose yourself in the other person.

How about when you are doing work that involves you so much that time flies by. You concentrate on the task to such an extent that time seems to literally warp, like in the "Wrinkle in Time". In that classic children's book, time is illustrated by a string that you hold at two points. Bring those two points together and the middle section loops down. Time continues along the top part, however, thus shortening the time continuum by leaving the loop part entirely out. You think it must be lunchtime and wonder why everyone is going home for the day. You loose yourself in your work.

The Wednesday morning Gospel Reflection reminds us that"...we must forget ourselves.....If we want to save our life we will lose it...if we lose our life for Christ and for the gospel we will save it."

Our great egos like us to think about the great Me. But, when we loose ourselves in Christ we become the best of who we are in the world. We discover who we are in community by disappearing in the process of selflessly loving and caring for one another. And, we discover our "Purpose Filled Life" by living our passion, albeit it art, businesses, science, or whatever uses the talent, skills and abilities that we have been given in life.Fulfilling God's purpose for ourselves.

There is no greater cure for self pity, fear, arrogance, addictions and most of what ails us than to loose ourselves in the way that Christ would want us to. And, perhaps, this is the greatest gift of all.

The see-through me!

2011-03-01T10:54:00.000-05:00

Ever wonder what it would be like to turn crystal clear on the outside and have all of your insides exposed to the world? As well as showing your guts, tendons and muscles and the great firings of your fabulous brain, this see-through you exposes your personal history, your failings, successes, all the bad stuff and all the good.

A close look exposes your pettiness, crimes, self deceptions, lies, unkindness, and selfishness. The new see-through you also exposes your vulnerabilities, truths, joys, hopes, strengths, dreams and the love you have given and received.

We learn that God can see us through and through, and know us in all our glory and defeat, and yet we are loved completely. How cool is that?

The cloud

2011-02-28T16:47:00.001-05:00

In computer land it is becoming increasingly popular to refer to the internet as the "cloud". People store and retrieve information in the cloud, and compute using the cloud. People use the cloud as a resource for tools, such as project management tools, as well as the "space" where those tools are used. Designers design using the cloud. Communicators communicate using the cloud, both to send out information and to receive it. Photographers and videographers are all now using the cloud for their work and pleasure.

The cloud seems to have several features. For starters, it is larger than the sum of its parts. It is also interactive. You can put things in and get things out. It is creative, and ever-changing. The great massive swirl of its interior can produce some fantastic ideas, art and science. You also can't see it. It is, after all, the "cloud.

One thing our bible and religious literature doesn't do well is produce contemporary concepts that help explain God. Images of shepherds and sheep may work, but have limited modern appeal. Maybe we can use the image of the internet cloud to talk about how we relate to God.

You may be able to feel God's presence and see the affects, but like the cloud you can't see God.

Like the cloud, God is vastly greater than the sum of its parts. Its parts being us; little souls, little pieces that can merge with God, at least according to St. Teresa of Avila.

God interacts with us. We can put information in and get information out. The great Old Testament theologian, Walter Brueggermann, discusses this in his book, An Unsettling God. Brueggermann points out that God is interactive in both giving and receiving. Certainly, when we pray we are putting information in. When we do Christian Meditation we are getting information out.

This also means that God changes. Out interactions make a difference. You can argue with God and change the future. God listens and it makes a difference.

God is also a space where profound things can happen. God is not just a tool but a place where work can be done, forgiveness developed, or love made more abundant. Lots of things can be done when in the midst of God's presence.

God is creative in a way that doesn't ever stop. Sure God created the world but God's creations are never ending and awesome.

So, here's to the cloud...being in it...being part of it...and letting it be a part of you.

Divine Coincidence

2011-02-26T10:19:00.000-05:00

Isn't it amazing how God somehow knows what you need to hear and somehow arranges for you to hear it?

Lately I have been the victim of what appears to be a state of Maryland unemployment system witch hunt which has tied up my unemployment insurance into the indefinite future. The result is that I have exactly six dollars and a few pennies from my piggy bank, to my name. This means that I am late in my rent and may be evicted, have no money to pay the phone bill, (how are people going to respond to my resumes?), can't get to this little one morning a week job that I have, teaching music to little elementary school children, and have no money for food. (If I say the little job is one morning a week the unemployment people will try to verify that I am not lying when I reported less income because, in fact, it isn't every week because of school holidays, etc.) They are driving me crazy and may produce a homeless person....literally.

In any case, the Friday afternoon midday prayer from the New Zealand Prayerbook starts off with Psalm 119: 105-112."The powerful oppress me without cause, but my heart stands firm in awe of your word."

It struck me instantly, that what is being said here is that while the powerful are oppressing me without cause, more importantly, no oppression should make me waiver in my commitment to God's word to love God and love one another.

Instead of praying that my oppressors simply resolve this issue quickly and to my favor, I should be praying that the individual responsible for this feel a true happiness and joy in his life. I don't know what makes him take over three weeks to resolve something that should take a few hours. I don't know why he should choose to tie up my income for an indefinite period. But I would be willing to bet his response would have been different if he were truly happy in the deep and profound way that all of God's children deserve to be happy.

Anyone that uncaring about the consequences of his actions, cannot be happy. Perhaps, others are involved too. Perhaps other people in the unemployment system are pressuring him as well. Perhaps his boss should be prayed for. Perhaps those bureaucrats and politicians who feel no compassion, should be prayed for also. If their hearts are changed by God's love then then their whole beings will be changed toward the path of beauty and love. We don't need to pray for the ultimate consequences. Love with take care of that.

How wonderful would that be?

The Door is Always Open

2011-02-25T11:10:00.000-05:00

I was reading the Friday Daily Devotion when I had cause to reflect on the magnitude of the word forgiveness. God can forgive our transgressions and sins. God also admonishes us to forgive one another, and so we try to do that. Usually we, or others, say we are sorry and promise not to do it over again. The result is, happily, that we are forgiven or are able to forgive. This is an important way to move on in love.

I suddenly realized that God is also making a greater promise. The new covenant is about something even more profound than a promised response to a confession of bad or wrongful behavior.

God is, in fact, saying that there is forgiveness in advance.When God says it has forgiven us our sins, it is saying that there is nothing, nothing, that can destroy the pipeline between us and it. It is a forgiveness that proceeds wrongdoing. There is nothing that we can do that prevents us from moving into union with God. The sin is only a temporary impediment, created by us, not by God. God's door is always open. God's forgiveness is absolute and without end.

This great promise takes us beyond the important examination of each infraction, and places forgiveness into a larger context.

The old world view that the sins of the fathers are visited upon us, or that our sins keep us in some profound way from God has truly fallen away with the new covenant that God has made to us. It is simple and easy. God is saying "I will always be there for you". Come to me. Here I Am.

St. Teresa of Avila talks about this union with God in her book "The Interior Castle". I wish I could get there but am afraid that I am too in love with earthly things to achieve that beautiful place.